I don't need to be anyone.
I am who I happen to be.

"I'm sixty but I am not really old."
(This is just something old people say.)

A tip on aging:
Think about it this way — what would a young man do if he were trapped inside this aging body?

I see the middle-age losers in their leather jackets.
I prefer being a middle-age loser in an REI fleece.

What did I think growing up would be a feeling?

I've got growing (old) pains.

As I age I begin to question the value of posthumous fame.

I always thought I would grow up.
Funny how I never did.

Sitting is for young people.
Sleeping is for young people.
Dying, however, now that is for old people!

As we age, we will need new dreams.
My new dream is to have a kick-ass Estate Sale.

Thinking about sex, fantasizing about, making double entendres and joking about sex is the best sex I get.

Having tried, and failed, to write songs,
I can now see that writing lyrics is one more thing I'm no good at.
At the end of my life,
I will see
I am no good for anything.

I am skipping grown-up and going straight into post-adult.

Not making a bucket list
is on my bucket list.

Is it too late
for me to be a dandy?

My shadow
has not aged.

Not "growing up," but "growing on."

Brains don't age.

I don't know about the long-term safety of milk.
I have been drinking milk for sixty years.
Now I look like an old man.

The new car and the new clothes are virtual youth.

I keep forgetting what I know.

Old people will wave to you, smile and talk to you.
That's because they're old and desperate.
That is why they are so nice.
They are really desperate.

We know about "senior moments."
What about "junior moments"?

Aging:
What to do on the melting ice flow.

Byron brags he is still good in bed:
he can usually sleep the whole night without waking up for a pee.

Playing the Age Card Aggressively™:
Fuck with the minds of the young:
"I told you about the time I killed that couple from Vermont, didn't I?"

I want to see if I can pretend to grow up.

What will irritate today's generation
thirty years from now?

I forget, what is the "o-word":
is it "old" or is it "ordinary"?

Godammit!!
Godammit!!
Godammit!!
Godammit!!
Godammit!!
Godammit!!
Godammit!!
Godammit!!
I'm getting old.

A benefit of aging:
more young people, less old people.

As you age, your sense of the normal drifts
but your sense of your sense of the normal doesn't usually drift the same way.

Sleep giveth and sleep taketh away.

Why are we here?
We are here to party

Another bad thing about aging:
you have to have sex with old people!

New words for new times™:
senidealism

Maybe it's age-inappropriate even being alive at sixty.

We go through life a number of times.
Towards the end, we go through it affettuoso, with feeling.

I am having a bad age day.

We're ripened
and then we are plucked.
(Oh, we are so plucked.)

When are you too old for a vision quest?

I see Gen-Y and I will probably see Gen-Z.
Sadly I will not get to see Gen-AA
let alone Gen-AB.

You're never too old to pretend you're still young.

Kids are stupid but fun.

the Harley-Davidson walker

Seniors rock!

Part of aging gracefully is to fight against aging gracefully.

When I grow up, I want to be a beachcomber.

A not-all-that-useful phrase:
"You look old, but in a good way."

Sitting is for young people.

Napping, the most gentle exercise

The aging person lives more desperately on the shrinking ice flow of the present.

I don't like the term "senior citizen."
I do not define myself as "a citizen."
I prefer: "senior commandante"
or "senior party official."

As I age I must come to terms with the fact I am myself only some of the time.

Where is the future?
It should have been here by now.

I am so tired of pretending to be younger than I am.